where does the pee come out of this thing
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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