Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
