i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Panties = found
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