You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
