My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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