you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
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Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
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Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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