Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
