I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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