I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
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he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
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whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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