I feel like I'm in dance class right now
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
