please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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