Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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