I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
