Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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