party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
