oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
