Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
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