You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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