btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize