u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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