i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
