"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
