We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
