As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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