Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
