Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
