You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
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