Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
