the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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