I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize