I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
