i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize