i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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