Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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