Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
