i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
