No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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