And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
we're so committed to being not committed
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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