my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize