i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
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She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
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I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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