the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
