Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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