what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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