Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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