I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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