This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I believe in your delicious
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
