so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
