home. puking in laundry basket.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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