If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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