I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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