yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
My vagina is very pro this idea
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize