My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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