I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize