C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
no, he came in my armpit
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
