His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
