all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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