bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
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