My room smells like vodka and shame
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
